The Facebook shakes

So it has been three days and I have the Facebook shakes. I feel like Dr. Drew needs to pop in my office for an intervention. I am Molly and I am a Facebookaholic. I am one step away from being Gary Busey (except I have working tear ducts and a cerebral cortex). I miss looking at profile pics, getting stupid Bubble Witch saga requests from my mom, and even the idiotic warning emails about unmarked police cars from Jason's aunt. I know in AA you are supposed to talk about what you don't miss like peeing in your closet or making out with a monkey or something of this nature so I will try to think of the 10 things I don't miss about Facebook.... 1) Vacation pics...when I am stuck in Lexington 2) scanned copies of kid's report cards. I want to kick your honor kid's ass! 3) Illness updates...we get it you have another sinus infection 4)political postings over Novemeber 5)I'm thankful postings 6)Facebook challenges-fill out this survey if you think you know me...nope 7) Facebook requests on personal issues...."should I have another kid?" If you have to ask on Facebook then let me tell you.....no! 8)pics of ugly babies-- yep I said it! I think your kid has crossed eyes and beaver teeth. And why is your 5 year old wearing pull ups with a pacifier? Future serial killers....absolutely yes! 9)mom posts about how hot they are. I know a woman who constantly puts bikini pics and pics of themselves dressing up in old prom dresses because she can....."Can you believe my prom dress still fits?" "Why do people always think I have implants?" These are real FB excerpts that make me want to hit the bottle. These posts reek of desperation and Mean Girls was only cute because it pertained to high school. If you are over 30 and still wear a prom dress, then you need to be clocked. 10) the worst one by far that I do not miss is couples putting "I love you, babe" messages to each other. Call one another or don't...just don't make me barf with wall PDA!